The last week is one which truly tests one’s ability to carry in all weather conditions- both in the sun and rain. Is was definitely not a “very” wet week but sometimes I feel that rain always come always so at the right moment when you are outdoors, in fact on two occasions (Mon and Wednesday). Personally I don’t mind the sun but its the rain which really matters and messes up things the most, not to mention team morale. Walking with or without raincoat usually equals to wet soggy and squishy trekking boots for tens of kilometers. Even if you do try to keep your shirts and top dry to fend away from a possible cold and fever, (what else could be worst?) the onset of blisters and the inevitable foot rot will get ya in the days to come. dang…

Admin-wise, the course is coming to an end. And the usual feeling of returning stores is very much of a deja-vu for me. The happy part comes when we all as a platoon can it tops and an accomplishment, another step in NS life (which also marks an end of “a suffering phrase too”) but sadly too the departure as we course mates break back to our individual units, usually from experience, its usually quite difficult to get back together again being in separate units, with the exception of few lucky ones…

On all tests passed on first attempt all so far so good, which surfaced more headaches for me. Why? heres the story:

There had been a lot of talk going on lately on whos getting the best trainee award. Personally, my OC and even my CO came personally to give us trainees a good and motivation prep talk before the commence of last week’s exercises. One thing I noted (within the platoon) is them highlighting telling us on pushing for the best and getting what ever opportunities we have- if you work towards it. Don’t do so and you will most probably regret next time. I had been a selected as a potential best candidate in this category. Though I personally feel that (and I had not gotten such an award before) its an honor to actually get hold of that award, they glory, fame recognition and stuffs.. *duh* but all these are superficial and I feel that there is more which meets the eye…

why?

This could mean a possible big decision for me and change in my period of active serving in NS. Why? though I always long to be an officer in BMT, my perspective changed largely when I went though specialist training in Sispec and entered my unit and I am happy as what I am in now (so why am I grumbling bout this?). Well, the best trainee in my course currently have the ability to be transferred to the officer cadet school for specialised training. And opportunity I wanted to grab few months back but shunned presently now. If I accept the offer, that could mean a whole new start for me, a whole new path and area to explore in the army. But too, at the possible expense of leaving my unit and old platoon mates behind…

How can I ever forget them? I must really commend on my platoonmates support, they had been rather up lately, pushing for me to fight against other units within the course for the best trainee position. I feel that that without their support I wouldn’t have came this far. I must do something to repay them someday, even if I didn’t come out tops.

Though I can choose to reject the offer and return back to my unit and platoon as a whole and continue life from there, I guess that would be one of the dumbest thing I could do as not everybody will ever get such a a chance in life, not to mention putting everybody in disappointment and their efforts into the drain. Its just one of the choices one will face in life, not to mention the increased load and responsibly one may get as a commissioned officer.

Oh well *sighs*

Looking back, sometimes I think I think too much, counting the chickens before they are hatched. the best trainee had not been finalised yet and theres still one more week left in course when the decision would be actually made. But its good to come prepared and not make rash decisions later on. Oh well, I am looking forward to the graduation next week, hope all goes well for the final last week.

~

Would be meeting up with my friends for some army, anime and games shopping tomorrow from noon. Its just great having friends who drives, so convenient.

Currently Listening: Royksopp – Remind Me (Mix) (4:04)

Its slightly less than 1 week into 2004 and my mum is all ready putting on chinese new year decorations around the house, all red, I see. Well Chinese new year is around the corner too, very exciting wonder how much ang pao money will I get this year….

Breakfast was special, as intended we, as a family had tim sum, where? at bukit merah view hawker center, the store is quite popular with the people around there, though I should reco they serve a larger variety of tim sum, as they are definately lacking in some popular dishes such as shrimp puffs and “man tou” (pan fried golden buns). After that, besides gaming all my time away in front of the computer, got some good guitar practice today, few hours in the morning and later in the evening, finally getting my strumming up to some acceptable standards, playing with the E, D and A chords mostly.. *duh* Later around noon, went out to the nearby 162 family restaurant in BM for lunch. Shopped around the central thereafter for some gadgets like a mini fan for “luxuries” whenever I am outfield training and got some grocery chores done roughly within an hour before heading home.

And now, Its the same old boring phrase- BOOK IN To CAMP AGAIN….

Only that this time, theres no mid-week breather break like what we had the last 2 weeks (christmas and new year) DaRn!

On a note, it’s 2 1/2 weeks before I get my 3rd SGT rank, and the end of life as a army trainee too. Lots of stuff had happened so far on course, very interesting things I say, but very fun too. The instructors are very kind and professional. gd gd. I think I did miss out some thing that the course accomodation is indeed very nice and new, in fact better than what it was in unit.. *dreamz* With that, though sadly, I feel that I am currently under allot of pressure by my OC to get the best trainee position in course presently, well because he knew bout it too. Though I can tell that it is “undirected positive motivation” It just bugs me for him to tell that that he have “something waiting for me” when I return back to unit. Not to mention not wanting to disappoint what my unit mates and CSM have expected on me. Well, I am already trying my best!

Moreover, I hope that my achievements throughout the course won’t imply much of an offense to other trainees, esp those who long for best trainee position too. I had seen such “politics” going on in BMT before, but so far I had not seen such behavior here myself, partly everybody as commanders are definately more mature and thinking than those childish BMT bastards…

When I come to think about it, it came pretty much of a surprise too me too- The thought of best trainee actually didn’t even dawn to me (being such a slacker myself, through BMT and Sispec) till one of the course instructors told me of some finalisation they had made to so-called “pluck of the cream of the crop”… SHITZ!

Hope all goes well. I just gotta stop counting the chickens before they are hatched too. It not end of course yet and anything and anybody could take over my top spot… Mmm though, the title of best trainee does seems good too.. *grins*

Just gotta try my best… day by day

Currently Listening: Metallica – Metal Militia (4:34)

Slept on the bus on the way home today and missed my stop, one of the dumb things I ever get to do in life… I am just super tried today, normally I would try to stay awake to enjoy my weekends but today’s an exception- having slept from 4.30am only to wake up at 7.25am yesterday to complete some dumb planning exercise revision thingy. Its even worst than going outfield (fieldcamp), at least you get you full 7 hours of rest there.

This shagging moment is one to be remembered, considering that you are still incamp, near your living quarters where you can move to and fro, in and out, but you can sleep cos you got to much things and planning given to you on purpose late at night to us teams to compile and finish! argh. Concussed on my bed after showering upon reaching home today 3pm (and yea so busy till be even didn’t even get to bathe for 2 days INCAMP, the feeling in just weird!). Plans to go catch a movie (School of rock) in the afternoon is pretty much cancelled too because of this. Woke up around 7pm today just in time for dinner, then did some gaming and reading before concussing for a second time today.

Would be having Tim Sum breakfast outside tomorrow morning, would be looking forward to that! yummy!

Currently Listening: Layo & Bushwacka vs Planet Fun – Love The Sun (Bootleg) (10:57)

Having christmas day off camp is just like having another weekend (book out the day before and back the very next night) when you come to think about it, we NSFs are actually working 6 day weeks in the army, talking about worker exploitation! And on top of that we work 72 hours a week without overtime pay either, dammit!

With that discovery aside, it had been quite a nice week so far with the exception of me almost catching a fever 2 days ago after the dumb mud pool experience and having a bad flu this morning. However, Its neat to have a day off midweek to let of some steam, esp with the fast pace of incamp training, sa “breather” is very much appreciated.

Yea! theres only tomorrow (friday) and saturday morning of “work” till I book out of the hellhole again, hope it will be fast, then out to civilian life again! But first, gotta book-in back to camp tonite to actualy make that happen…

dammit!

Currently Listening: Silverblue – Step Back (A2 Vocal Mix) (5:13)